How Silly Can you get?

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    How Silly Can you get?

    Now Mrs LHA is not given to outbursts at the hapless staff who should consider their lifetime achievement to be being used as a draft excluder or flood barrier, but there are exceptions.

    She is a Saint and regularly has a workshop with other saints, and St Francis asks how she developed her skills and she points me out and I smile and wave, apelike, from the shed, and he sais “Oh I see”. St Peter even gets out his list, scowls and say “Oh yes he’s your + 1”.

    Or its only the fellowship group and I need to cjeck the shed’s CO detector…

    So while on the way to chums for lunch on Saturday, they called us to confess that they had munched lunch’s pate the previous night and would we be angels and collect some, and that found us in a major supermarket.

    We ambled in and as I stopped to check the Daily Mail headlines and laments this would never have happened if her Thatcherness were still with us, Mrs LHA asked a shelving monkey “ in which aisle would I find Pate?”

    He looked confused, possibly at having a complete sentence to negotiate rather than “ Oi mate, Pate?” and when inspiration struck he said “over her Miss” and led to her to a shelf of……patties.

    She smiled and said “no, pate” lading to more confusion and mumbles “patties” pointing at the patties, and she replied with no, P..A..T..E

    He stared like a deer in headlights and then with relief, called to his fellow shelving monkey who “ Er, she’s looking for patties”

    She interrupted “no, PATE” The other chap wandered over and said
    “Wot kind luv, Jamaican or Cornish?”

    With a withering school teacherly gaze, she answered “ Brussels or Ardennes” he looked confused and said “no we don’t stock ‘em, never even heard of Brussels patties.”

    Exasperated she asked “Are either of you looked after by a responsible adult?”

    They called a manager on their radio and when they asked for “patties” and she snatched it out of his hand and said “I am looking for pate” She got the reply “oh that’s aisle 8, who is this?”

    She handed back the radio to two rather displeased staff and said “thank you, off you go” and turned to me, where I stood with my best smug face that shouted “see? its not just me”.

    I was munching on a magnum that had fallen out of the freezer cabinet into my basket so I’d better eat it as it was broken, and therefore was told
    “no dessert for you”.
    Based on the information posted, I offer my thoughts.Any action you then take is your liability. While commending individual effort, there is no substitute for a thorough review of documents and facts by paid for professional advisers.

    #2
    Am I the only person who cannot make any sense of this?



    Freedom at the point of zero............

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      #3
      Mrs LHA wanted to buy some PATE, but the shop assistants thought that she wanted to buy some PASTIES.

      Comment


        #4
        Think LHA means Pâté

        See...
        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P%C3%A2t%C3%A9

        My dear late aunt, pre-war German, well educated, au-pair who had married my english uncle who at the time of the incident (1960s..) was MD of a small family chain of grocers in East Anglia visited said chain main branch, hubby upstairs, she well-known to the staff, asking for "petit pois" pronounced with impeccable French: Blank looks on faces of staff (remember when grocers had counters & helpful staff??). Conversations, explanations... then "Oh, you mean "petty poise"...

        Collapse of delicate continental relative...
        I am legally unqualified: If you need to rely on advice check it with a suitable authority - eg a solicitor specialising in landlord/tenant law...

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          #5
          Anyone remember that Wayne & Waynetta sketch when Waynetta bought some Pâté, but thought they had incorrectly spelt 'Paste'. Perhaps that is what Mrs LHA should have asked for.

          Comment


            #6
            The two shelving monkeys had absolutely no idea that there was such a thing as Pate.....
            Based on the information posted, I offer my thoughts.Any action you then take is your liability. While commending individual effort, there is no substitute for a thorough review of documents and facts by paid for professional advisers.

            Comment


              #7
              .....and do you know what panaculty is not as refined as pate in your area perhaps? Thanks for the precis Mrs Mug.



              Freedom at the point of zero............

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                #8
                Originally posted by Mrs Mug View Post
                Mrs LHA wanted to buy some PATE, but the shop assistants thought that she wanted to buy some PASTIES.
                I read it as "patties" - which are a Jamaican something, rather than "pasties", which feature in the Notting Hill Carnival when the censors have gone home.

                Anyway, it's a good job she wasn't in Soho or somewhere hippy-dippy such as (redacted) where she might have received real pasties and glue.

                ML
                Refer Mad Regulators to Arkell vs Pressdram.

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                  #9
                  You can buy Jamaican patties at some branches of Tesco and Asda. They are similar to pasties.

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                    #10
                    Yes, as above thats what he was pointing at, and in desperation, to Cornish pasties, thinking she meant pasties.

                    Burgess Hill might be regarded locally as an "intellectual armpit" but it is pate and there was a cabinet full of it.

                    So much for knowing your stock which as a shelving monkey you think they might have noticed them.....
                    Based on the information posted, I offer my thoughts.Any action you then take is your liability. While commending individual effort, there is no substitute for a thorough review of documents and facts by paid for professional advisers.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I asked for Quark (a soft cheese) in Tesco, was directed to the electrics/computer aisle.
                      The same trip the checkout operator priced my mangoes as turnips (or swede if your from darn sarf)

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