You are in the Mood For Christmas when......

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  • leaseholdanswers
    replied
    Originally posted by jta View Post
    I blame the mother. Poor teaching.
    What a scene in A & E with son, sans eyebrows and a cartoon blackened face and stand up hair, being cared for as Mother is dragged away by the Police while insisting that she was "only teaching him a lesson".

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  • jta
    replied
    Originally posted by mind the gap View Post
    our Son 2, who has been known to put an electric kettle on the gas ring before now...and despite all instruction to the contrary, insists on turning on the gas poker (to light a coal fire) before lighting the match...with resultant mini-explosion once he gets round to putting match to gas jet...he has nearly parted company with his eyebrows more than once this holiday, but doesn't learn. If he ever has to answer his phone in the crucial match-gas interim, we're all doomed to be blown to kingdom come.
    I blame the mother. Poor teaching.

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  • 45002
    replied
    You can track Santa on-line

    http://www.noradsanta.org/

    and here

    http://www.google.co.uk/santatracker...cker/dashboard

    Happy Crimbo ......

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  • leaseholdanswers
    replied
    They have never been the same since we stopped putting them up chimneys and banned regular beatings.

    Can I suggest an Xmas gift - a peizo electric lighter for the gas poker? One in either hand should be manageable.

    I'd disconnect the gas poker and let him freeze until he learns.

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  • mind the gap
    replied
    Originally posted by Ericthelobster View Post

    (FYI, the cause was No. 1 Daughter having dunked the electric kettle in the sink before switching it on. How has she survived living away from home for 4 years, I ask myself?)
    We must introduce her to our Son 2, who has been known to put an electric kettle on the gas ring before now...and despite all instruction to the contrary, insists on turning on the gas poker (to light a coal fire) before lighting the match...with resultant mini-explosion once he gets round to putting match to gas jet...he has nearly parted company with his eyebrows more than once this holiday, but doesn't learn. If he ever has to answer his phone in the crucial match-gas interim, we're all doomed to be blown to kingdom come.

    I now know why my instinctive reaction when our student Ts asked for an open fire in the lounge was 'You must be joking'. That said, I was lighting coal fires (apparently without incident) and filling hot water bottles with from boiling kettles, when I was 6. Are children more cosseted, or just more stupid these days?

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  • Ericthelobster
    replied
    No. 1 Daughter home from uni, and full of the joys of Christmas, just put on "The Best Christmas CD In The World... Ever" to echo round the house; immediately followed by a POP as the whole house electrics tripped off. "RESULT!" I didn't shout; but I was strongly tempted to claim that it was going to take me several hours to sort out.

    (FYI, the cause was No. 1 Daughter having dunked the electric kettle in the sink before switching it on. How has she survived living away from home for 4 years, I ask myself?)

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  • leaseholdanswers
    replied
    You are in the Mood For Christmas when......

    You look out the armoured gloves, as you know that any rustling wrapping paper will be attacked by the cats in full claw.

    They will even ignore turkey or treats to play with it.

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  • leaseholdanswers
    replied
    Originally posted by islandgirl View Post
    when middle one's Birthday and trip to the cinema with his mates to see The Hobbit (now an annual event) has passed...let Christmas begin!
    We saw it "yawn"... better than the last one but not exactly " must get it on DVD or lets see it again"

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  • islandgirl
    replied
    when middle one's Birthday and trip to the cinema with his mates to see The Hobbit (now an annual event) has passed...let Christmas begin!

    Leave a comment:


  • leaseholdanswers
    replied
    When you ( in this case, a daughter) parties so late that she gets up this morning, showers, and puts on her dressing gown to join us for some breakfast, she is asked;

    " Are you planning to rinse the shampoo out of your hair?"

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  • mind the gap
    replied
    Originally posted by Darth Wookie View Post
    Not too soon, I hope, although if I find that the decorations were installed with the aid of a hammer then I reserve the right to review the present situation. I tend to be the DIY delegate for the house as the dear lady is a liability with anything more fixy than sellotape.
    Perhaps she is just having a go at all those jobs you promised to do but didn't

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  • Darth Wookie
    replied
    Originally posted by QuestForFreedom View Post
    Do you plan on changing her soon?
    Not too soon, I hope, although if I find that the decorations were installed with the aid of a hammer then I reserve the right to review the present situation. I tend to be the DIY delegate for the house as the dear lady is a liability with anything more fixy than sellotape.

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  • QuestForFreedom
    replied
    Originally posted by Darth Wookie View Post
    The present Mrs Wookie is off work today.
    Do you plan on changing her soon?

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  • jta
    replied
    Originally posted by Berlingogirl View Post
    And lha I'll be sure to polish my balls in the way you suggest. Then I'll hang them in my bush!
    You owe me a keyboard now. Double and triple entendres. disgusting (snigger)

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  • Berlingogirl
    replied
    mtg - I've tried very hard on the banishing idea. I even bought a 10x12 foot shed for the elder son, but he feels left out of family life. Ahhhhhhhhhh

    Good idea about the outside tree. I have a very small almost bonsai one that teh boys brought home from nursery about ..... oh 13 years ago. It's only 18" high. Might need repotting. But i've got a grapevine growing up the wall, I could put lights in that.

    And lha I'll be sure to polish my balls in the way you suggest. Then I'll hang them in my bush!

    Leave a comment:

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