Unconscious humour from posters

[JK0]

If the (un)availability of the heating would have made a difference to your decision to rent the property, not telling you is a misleading omission by the agent/landlord.

Agents are expected to be mind-readers?

[JK0]

.
People tend not to move much once they are dead.

'License to haunt'?

[nukecad]

Tenant to stay after death

.
People tend not to move much once they are dead.

[Kape65]

I'd go toilet every day of the week.

I should hope so!

[nukecad]

Have any members experience of electronic execution?

When I read that The Green Mile came to mind.

I've had it the other way with a 200 joule defibrillation, but that's resucitation not execution.

[nukecad]

leaking comes from Balcony

I'm sure we have all been on holidays where people used to P off the balcony.

[JK0]

I fail to see why a Eric Would fail in an area the leaseholder has no control over,

But where to find an electrician called Eric?

[JK0]

Just received an advertising email from Landlordzone with the subject as follows:

TONIGHT - Live Deal Souring Training!

Surely no-one needs training for that?

[nukecad]

the cable could serve a 13a socket for charging from a granny charger.

You know I hate to ask
But, are 'grannys' electric?
Mine's broke down
And now I've no one to love.

Nod to Gary Numan, and apologies for taking liberties with the lyrics.

[nukecad]

What's the difference between sheriff and bailiff

Sheriffs carry six shooters on their belts and 'clean up the town' - Ask Clint Eastwood for more details.

[JK0]

Maybe try knocking in the door and if that fails, sniffing in the letterbox?

Sniff the letterbox after I've knocked the door in?

[JK0]

Basement flat dwelling type

Where can I find such a tenant for my basement flat?

[JK0]

To dog or not to dog?

Only when the weather's nice & warm.

BTW, enjoy:

[nukecad]

Tenant not cleaned properly at check out

I don't think you can insist that your tenant has a wash before moving out.

[JK0]

Is it worth getting rent protection insurance? (especially during COVID)?

Mine would, it has very few exclusions.

LOL.