Unconscious humour from posters

[JK0]

the Ogden rate set by the government at the time for personal unjustly claims was at 2.5%

Can I make a claim, if someone's been personally unjust to me?

[nukecad]

Dancing Pole

If they're doing the Mazurka that could upset the neighbours downstairs.

[JK0]

if they were totally free i may be a no brainer.

Best not make such decisions if you are.

[theartfullodger]

From another place, today....

My tenants signed an AST without a brake clause.

Mobile home then??

[JK0]

carpet burn on checkout

What on earth was the checkout clerk doing?

[nukecad]

payed my rent into her privet bank account

That would be a hedge fund then.

[JK0]

I could go on all day on his subject but I will stop and wish you all a Very New Year.

I wish we did have a new year. Every one seems the same as the one before.

[nukecad]

... if someone was moving out it was up tp them to make the place look good for the Vikings.

You don't want them, they'd probably loot, pillage, and ransack the place.

[JK0]

Anything can go wrong in a property, to make it fool proof is impossible to do,

“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”

― Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

[nukecad]

My tenant has asked if he can get a dog. Where do I stand on this ?

It will yelp if you stand on it and may try to bite you.

[nukecad]

The landlord seems not to be phased ...

Another out of step landlord?

[theartfullodger]

Today........

..................She can't send over 6k to an agency without having at a minimum draft of the tendency agreement ..........

Some of my tenants certainly had tendencies.... but never agreed in the agreement...

[eagle2]

“The landlord reserves the right tomato”

Must be a vegetarian

[JK0]

I got £4000 rent arrears

And I’ve found a new property goung through new referencing now as we speak.

Are you expecting a good reference?

[theartfullodger]

From another place today...

Is it not common to rent property to people? Estate agents manage lettings, so you - the owner don't need to do much (am I wrong?)