Unconscious humour from posters

[nukecad]

... the ground rent from the airspace ...

The best oxymoron I've seen in a while.

[JK0]

First let me make it clear that I am not a professional landlord

Did this make anyone else chuckle?

[nukecad]

Various posts -

I would sell if I could

What you really mean is "I would like to sell for a certain price, but no-one will give me that price".

[nukecad]

if the electrician has floundered building regs

Sounds a bit fishy to me.

[jpkeates]

Hmmm

https://forums.landlordzone.co.uk/fo...-needed-please

Meet

https://forums.landlordzone.co.uk/fo...e-damage-costs

[tommyharold45]

From one of today's threads:

Any chance of claiming any damages from the landlord? My furniture and other staff now smells and the whole house will need a thorough cleaning.

I told him to make sure the staff take a shower and change their clothes.

Your this "I told him to make sure the staff take a shower and change their clothes" don't know why makes me feel sarcastic

[JK0]

My Deposits say the insurance only pays out in the event of dispute not in cases of theft or misappropriation by the agent. If anyone has any experience of this or dealing with My Deposits would be grateful for your thoughts.

Well that's about as much use as a chocolate teapot then, isn't it?

[nukecad]

If tenant leaves carp,

Make fish and chips for supper.

[JK0]

The maintenance guy put in his report for it to be replaced and also told me they had told another tenant to use a bucket as replacing their toilet was deemed out of their remit

To flush it, or to cr*p in?

[JK0]

I would consider that you hadn't behaved in a tenant like manner because you should have turned the water off at the stop tap which would have stopped it getting so wet.

Ain't that behaving exactly like a tenant, though?

[JK0]

Lets say if the landlord apply for court possession order and if we send defence form along with the pregnancy plus few other maintenance work such as swallowen wall giving illusion of asbestos then could that delay the order.

Pretend to court that you have asbestos? Great move!

[JK0]

But for an experienced landlord, expert in creating a bland canvas, not desperate to sell, with trade contacts, I reckon it is well worth doing.

Yeah. I'm expert in creating a bland canvas.

[boletus]

Yeah. I'm expert in creating a bland canvas.

Me too, it was conscious humour JKO.
During refurbs, I dream in magnolia.

[JK0]

hazards causing difficulty in breathing such as dump, swollen wall etc.

Swollen what?

[nukecad]

having group sex in her home when they think she's out

Well it has been a bit cold this winter for dogging.