Unconscious humour from posters

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    Rental property has rats - as tenants
    'Rats' is a bit strong - 'scumbags' maybe, or 'undesirables'.

    This is becoming a theme - Do you need a special Tenancy Agreement to let to rodents?

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      The RLA will have some mickey mouse version...
      When I post, I am expressing an opinion - feel free to disagree, I have been wrong before.
      Please don't act on my suggestions without checking with a grown-up (ideally some kind of expert).

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        Accelerated Possession Order – will I become homeless or is it invalid?
        Ah, no. You'll only be an invalid if you don't move out and landlord sends someone to break your legs.

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          I literally hear everything. She prays at 4am every morning for over an hour, it wakes me up.
          Are you sure the real problem isn't the "type" of person who prays at 4ish every morning?

          Wait until summer, when there's two prayers in the early morning.
          When I post, I am expressing an opinion - feel free to disagree, I have been wrong before.
          Please don't act on my suggestions without checking with a grown-up (ideally some kind of expert).

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            I received a barrage of abuse in text form and was threatened with her dead father.
            "I'll hit you round the head with his cremation urn" ?

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              Am I the only person who finds it really funny that the :How to Use these Forums" section is consistently where people post questions that belong in other sections of the forum.
              When I post, I am expressing an opinion - feel free to disagree, I have been wrong before.
              Please don't act on my suggestions without checking with a grown-up (ideally some kind of expert).

              Comment


                Originally posted by jpkeates View Post
                Am I the only person who finds it really funny that the :How to Use these Forums" section is consistently where people post questions that belong in other sections of the forum.
                Not realy.

                As a forum mod (not here) I'm used to people posting in the wrong sections.
                They just hit the 'New topic' or 'Post a new thread' button wherever they happen to have been reading last.
                (Maybe they think it will then ask them where to put it?)

                With newbies at least is shows that they have been reading the 'How to use' section, even if they have not read it properly.

                TBH the advice on here about posting in the apropriate forum is burried in the sticky thread entitled:
                "Thread titles - protocol" so not that obvious that it's also about where to post.

                Edit- Just noticed this from 2010:
                Originally posted by Moderator1 View Post
                Moderating posts in this Forum

                New threads by many inexperienced LandlordZONE members are often mistakenly posted in How to Use these Forums.

                To avoid the need for corrective posts asking that they be re-submitted to the correct Forum, a new procedure is now in operation. All posts here, no matter from whom, will be Moderated. They will not appear on screen unless and until approved by LZ. This procedure has been modelled on other larger websites (for example, those of the BBC) and will, it is hoped, ensure that new threads are correctly placed.

                This procedure applies only to How to Use these Forums.

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                  Snowflakes, eh?
                  I have a special and unpleasure situation. Today in the morning i received the next email from my letting negotiator. "Hello Hope you are well? I was doing key inspections yesterday and as I knocked on your door to check if you were in (you didn't need to be it was just so you didn't think somebody

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                    the council is disputing the cost of the damage to the neighbour’s conservatory with a waterboard.
                    Guantanamo Bay council?

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                      Landlord wants to know if tenant dresses to the left or to the right?
                      I'm applying to court for determination of breeches against my tenant. Can he come back at me with things that are stated in the lease that I haven't done!

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                        Whichever way it falls when he's finished playing.

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                          Once more into the trousers-

                          I'm applying to court for determination of breeches against my tenant

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                            Please name a holistic output & how I might use it,
                            Something to do with playing virtual reality games on the Starship Enterprise isn't it?

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                              i am a bit confused which bailiff i need to go for
                              Get the biggest one out of the way first, but you'll get locked up for attacking a bailiff.

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                                9) None of the furniture provided by landlord has been fire-tested.
                                Would probably make quite a blaze....
                                I am legally unqualified: If you need to rely on advice check it with a suitable authority - eg a solicitor specialising in landlord/tenant law...

                                Comment

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                                • Delinquent meanness
                                  JK0
                                  You guys know I have been renovating a flat since March. The first month, I kept hearing a 'peep' noise every few minutes, so I bought a new battery for the mains linked smoke alarm. However, I still heard the 'peep' and came to the conculsion that it is next door's smoke alarm. Surprising, since the...
                                  02-08-2018, 22:13 PM
                                • Reply to Delinquent meanness
                                  zanorias
                                  Has he considered using a dehumidifier? I switched my tumble dryer for one a few years ago, much more energy efficient plus useful for general humidity control during winter. My clothes will dry within 5-6 hours. Can't stand that musty smell from clothes being damp too long...
                                  22-02-2019, 21:16 PM
                                • Reply to Delinquent meanness
                                  JK0
                                  My friend who rented a flat from me recently tells me he will not use the tumble drier, as it is very expensive, and will not put clothes out on the line as someone will steal them.

                                  'No-one will steal your sh*t!' I told him.

                                  'One man's rubbish is another man's treasure' he...
                                  22-02-2019, 17:52 PM
                                • Dog size chart for tenants idea
                                  Rewolf
                                  My statistics for the top 3 breeds, enquiring tenants have in West Yorkshire and can't rent anywhere - Staffordshire Bull Terrier. Rottweiler. German Shepherd.
                                  I personally don't accept pets but year after year I always get the same enquiries from different people; "he's only a small dog...
                                  04-09-2018, 08:15 AM
                                • Reply to Dog size chart for tenants idea
                                  KeepTheFaith
                                  Of course it could just be I tend to attract those types of pets... Just like JK0 tends to attract those types of tenants. 😂...
                                  22-02-2019, 15:45 PM
                                • Unconscious humour from posters
                                  jta
                                  It seems to me there is a lot of unconscious humour here, the latest one for me is...........



                                  Of course I know what he means but his brain seems to be running faster than his typing

                                  Can I suggest that we post them here when we spot them....
                                  01-08-2012, 17:16 PM
                                • Reply to Unconscious humour from posters
                                  JK0
                                  Ain't that the truth. ...
                                  22-02-2019, 14:35 PM
                                • Reply to Dog size chart for tenants idea
                                  jpkeates
                                  Cats "soften" where they sleep with their claws.
                                  You can't train them not to, and declawing is inhumane.

                                  You can't fully house train cats or dogs.
                                  You can be 99% confident, but once there's been an accident, that spot is then OK from then on.

                                  I keep dogs...
                                  22-02-2019, 14:28 PM
                                • AML nonsense
                                  JK0
                                  AML= Anti Money Laundering in case you were wondering...

                                  From time to time, the companies I have unit trusts with ask for a photostat of my passport, and a utility bill. One particular firm in Ireland wrote last week regarding this, and I trotted off down to the solicitor to get those things...
                                  22-02-2019, 14:15 PM
                                • Reply to Dog size chart for tenants idea
                                  zanorias
                                  You'll likely know better than most that - just like humans - cats and dogs vary as individuals. Just as some people will be hard to educate in school or work with, some pets will learn/behave better than others and no one say 100% that a cat or dog will or won't cause damage. Hence there will always...
                                  22-02-2019, 13:23 PM
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