Unconscious humour from posters

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    Originally posted by emwithme View Post
    My ideal carpet colour would be "spilled coffee and biscuit crumbs" so the "safe to say in front of your granny*" version of the above.

    *My granny, on the other hand, would've loved the "sh1t and breadcrumbs" version.
    Please God our tenants only spill coffee on our carpets, and don't sh1t on them.

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      Your walls will be bombarded with vomit, beer, spaghetti hoops, etc.

      So, do not use matt paint. Washable paint is a must.

      Hire an interior designer and they will coordinate your colour scheme with the furnishings and accessories. It makes a huge difference for a little extra money. Contemporary students will only except 'boutique' interior design. Take a look at 'boutique' hotels and copy them.
      What coordinates with vomit, beer & spaghetti hoops?

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        (not that im planning on getting divorced anytime soon/at all), as this is a non-martial asset,
        Not fighting over assets then eh??
        https://www.vocabulary.com/articles/...rital-martial/
        I am legally unqualified: If you need to rely on advice check it with a suitable authority - eg a solicitor specialising in landlord/tenant law...

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          Originally posted by JK0 View Post
          What coordinates with vomit, beer & spaghetti hoops?
          Kebab, Pizza, and Dark fruits Cider makes a nice contrast in a student flat.

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            There are companies like fundermonkey
            O/P already funded a monkey, didn't they?

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              Landlord did protect deposit
              Tenant still wants compensating though.

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                England & Wales differs from Scotland differs from Norn Iron.
                Are those used for ironing Norns? or do Norns use them to do their ironing?

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                  Norns are Teutonic myth persons who appear in Wagner's Ring cycle so Norn Iron would be a Norn of particular sexual persiation.
                  I am legally unqualified: If you need to rely on advice check it with a suitable authority - eg a solicitor specialising in landlord/tenant law...

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                    Norn Iron is a distant relation of Nutty Slack, both by-products of the now-defunct UK coal-mining industry.
                    'Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation fo the first link on one memorable day'. Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

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                      Go on then-

                      Norns - Female beings who rule the destiny of gods and men in Norse mythology.
                      http://norse-mythology.org/gods-and-...ers/the-norns/

                      Norns - A race of warriors in some RPGs.
                      http://wiki.guildwars.com/wiki/Norn

                      Norn - An extinct Germanic language spoken in Orkney, Shetland, and Caithness.
                      http://www.orkneyjar.com/orkney/norn.htm

                      Norn iron works - Was an industrial community in Sweden.

                      (And yes 'Norn Iron' is urban slang for Northern Ireland).

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                        25/02/16::

                        does that have any impact on only one person singing the inventory?
                        There is a fine line between irony and stupidity. If I say something absurd please assume that I am being facetious.

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                          What is a "rollover"?
                          It's if someone didn't win the jackpot this week, the prize is 'rolled over' to next week's draw.

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                            Life can be a bit of a lottery for a landlord...
                            When I post, I am expressing an opinion - feel free to disagree, I have been wrong before.
                            Please don't act on my suggestions without checking with a grown-up (ideally some kind of expert).

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                              We are planning to sell the house when we won't lose money by selling cheers.
                              Crikey. How much do you get per cheer?

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                                Because the check out clerk was there unaccompanied, if any damage is disputed how can all parties be assured that this did not occur in the period that he was unaccompanied in the property.
                                Yes, that's a perfectly sensible point to make.
                                LOL. Accusing check out clerk of going to flat to damage it before checkout sounds a little insane to me. You might just as well blame any damage on letting agent letting themselves in with their keys during the tenancy.

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