Unconscious humour from posters

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    #46
    Ah, probably very profitable and uncomplaining tenants these...


    Is it ok to say young pros
    29/4/2013
    I am legally unqualified: If you need to rely on advice check it with a suitable authority - eg a solicitor specialising in landlord/tenant law...

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      #47
      Originally posted by theartfullodger View Post
      Ah, probably very profitable and uncomplaining tenants these...


      29/4/2013
      That reminds me of this story that a friend sent me some time ago:


      THE IRISH PROSTITUTE

      An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.
      Upon her return, her Father cursed her heavily.

      'Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?'

      The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff....Dad....I became a prostitute . . .'

      'Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.'

      'OK, Dad-- as ye wish.


      I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a £5 million savings certificate.. For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club... (takes a breath)... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera .'

      'Now what was it ye said ye had become?' asks Dad.



      Girl, crying again, 'Sniff, sniff....a prostitute Daddy! Sniff, sniff.'

      'Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old Dad a hug.'

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        #48
        Going to photograph the readings with a newspaper today.
        Ain't it wonderful?
        I offer no guarantee that anything I say is correct. wysiwyg

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          #49
          From one of today's posts:
          I'm trying to fleece the guy or be unreasonable, I just want a contribution to the costs.

          Comment


            #50
            Cor, wonder what happens in one of these:

            I own a massionate
            It's the subliminal effect of the rhyme (with 'passionate') which does it!
            'Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation fo the first link on one memorable day'. Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

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              #51
              Today....

              It's a three pain window
              Cheers!
              I am legally unqualified: If you need to rely on advice check it with a suitable authority - eg a solicitor specialising in landlord/tenant law...

              Comment


                #52
                Originally posted by theartfullodger View Post
                Today....

                It's a three pain window
                Cheers!
                You beat me to it!
                I offer no guarantee that anything I say is correct. wysiwyg

                Comment


                  #53
                  from another site.

                  it is the unfamiliarity of the Russian (including the acrylic alphabet) that makes it seem hard
                  I offer no guarantee that anything I say is correct. wysiwyg

                  Comment


                    #54
                    I used to work in a school for boys with SEBD (social emotional and behavioural disorders) and one of the boys asked
                    'How do you spell BMW?'

                    Comment


                      #55
                      I visited the Open Air Museum in the Netherlands a few years ago. It's a collection of houses, uprooted and replanted in a museum area. I recommend it BTW.

                      The Dutch lady was telling us about the buildings in American English. The Dutch lady referred to the other side of the wall as being the 'backside' of the wall.

                      There were some American ladies there who, in very worried and concerned tones discussed 'Should we tell her what a backside is?'

                      I killed them with a teacher style dagger look. They shut up.

                      Comment


                        #56
                        Good job they didn't start going on about their 'fanny packs'!

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                          #57


                          When I slit up with my sons' dad
                          Speaking as a man on his 3rd successful marriage: There's a few people who would happily "slit up" with ex-partners....
                          I am legally unqualified: If you need to rely on advice check it with a suitable authority - eg a solicitor specialising in landlord/tenant law...

                          Comment


                            #58
                            It's a three pain window
                            Pain to open pain to close and a pain to clean
                            Based on the information posted, I offer my thoughts.Any action you then take is your liability. While commending individual effort, there is no substitute for a thorough review of documents and facts by paid for professional advisers.

                            Comment


                              #59

                              Assuming, you are not a love in landlord here and also not providing other significant services and that the property is the principal residence of the tenants.
                              Wonder what other services a love in LL provides ? *giggle*
                              I'm a good tenant with great landlords
                              I'm also a living, breathing, fully cooked female.

                              Comment


                                #60
                                If you are happy to keep some tenants or indeed get written agreements with one's you later evict an option is to offer a written deal at a lower rent. Many tenants will sigh.
                                More than sigh perhaps?

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                                • Unconscious humour from posters
                                  jta
                                  It seems to me there is a lot of unconscious humour here, the latest one for me is...........



                                  Of course I know what he means but his brain seems to be running faster than his typing

                                  Can I suggest that we post them here when we spot them....
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