Unconscious humour from posters

[nukecad]

What is causing damp in building?

My first guess would be water.

[nukecad]

Surely your guidance should come from your solicitor, rather than some dubious individuals on an internet forum!

I'm often dubious about some of the stories we get told on the forum.

[JK0]

Many people have a problem with mice at home and at work place. Call us at ************* and get monthly service of mice to completely stop them.

Wouldn't a monthly service of 'cats' be more effective?

[MdeB]

Wouldn't a monthly service of 'cats' be more effective?

I wouldn't wand anyone who services cats or mice anywhere near me.

[MdeB]

I just had tenanted oven fixed.

I thought beds in sheds was bad, but ...

[JK0]

No Pets allowed to be made illegal

So tenants could have pet crocodiles, tigers, gorillas, etc?

[nukecad]

Hybrid letting agent!

These mutations are spreading. Can we get vaccinated against it?

[nukecad]

Only just noticed this one from a while back which gave me a chuckle:

And the Flat Earth Society have supporters in every corner of the globe.

What 'globe'?
It's flat, it wouldn't have corners if it was a globe

[JK0]

Thank you for the reply . There is however one issue on my part that Is, I have missed the landlord's first rent payment after which he took this extreme measure....
will I still be able enforce my possession?

The cheek of some people, eh?

[JK0]

try to ask them if they would want it carried out every 3-4 weeks

Crikey, the electrical regs are tough now.

[JK0]

BTW what a great industry to be in - Indemnity Insurance - pay me a few quid for a risk that I'll never have to pay out on and I'll insure anything!!!

Business interruption?

Sure, and if there's a pandemic and you're told to shut your business, we'll pay up... unless it's a disease we've never heard of before.

[JK0]

As you have stated, you have two obvious negatives ...
CCJs - not one but three
Pets - not one but three.

Children - not one but three.

[jpucng62]

Are they standing or sitting? Screenshot 2021-02-18 at 13.10.05.png

[JK0]

My mate was having trouble with his waist pipe for years

It's old age.

[nukecad]

So many in that one post:

My mate was having trouble with his waist pipe for years, the wonder liquids would not unblock it at all, only relieved it for a bit.

I'd see a doctor mate.

1m of the waist pipe was removed

Eek!

I have just had a bathroom suit fitted

Similar to a birthday suit?