Why would anyone go on a cruise?

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    Why would anyone go on a cruise?

    Originally posted by Mrs Mug View Post
    I win a luxury cruise to the Caribbean at least once a week.
    Mrs Mug's post got me thinking about cruises generally. What I cannot understand is why anyone who is not clinically insane would ever choose to go on one - even pay to do so? They sound like hell on earth - all that lurching around vomiting, compulsory leisure activities and not being able to get away from the same 300 vile people. Like being in Wormwood Scrubs, but with cabin fever thrown in for good measure?

    I saw a clothing section in Debenhams once called 'Cruisewear'. It made me feel seasick just looking at the Crimplene trousers suits and jaunty sunhats.

    Can anyone explain how cruise companies stay in business?
    'Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation fo the first link on one memorable day'. Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

    #2
    Going on a cruise hell styx in my craw.
    JEFFREY SHAW, solicitor [and Topic Expert], Nether Edge Law*
    1. Public advice is believed accurate, but I accept no legal responsibility except to direct-paying private clients.
    2. Telephone advice: see http://www.landlordzone.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=34638.
    3. For paid advice about conveyancing/leaseholds/L&T, contact me* and become a private client.
    4. *- Contact info: click on my name (blue-highlight link).

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      #3
      Originally posted by mind the gap View Post
      Can anyone explain how cruise companies stay in business?
      They work for cunard? [old joke]
      JEFFREY SHAW, solicitor [and Topic Expert], Nether Edge Law*
      1. Public advice is believed accurate, but I accept no legal responsibility except to direct-paying private clients.
      2. Telephone advice: see http://www.landlordzone.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=34638.
      3. For paid advice about conveyancing/leaseholds/L&T, contact me* and become a private client.
      4. *- Contact info: click on my name (blue-highlight link).

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        #4
        Originally posted by mind the gap View Post
        What I cannot understand is why anyone who is not clinically insane would ever choose to go on one - even pay to do so?
        My friend went on a cruise every year for about five years. They took dinner suits and long dresses, for their meals at the captains table. They showed us the photos from the cruises once. There were no nice scenic photos, just lots of posed photos taken with the captain.

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          #5
          Originally posted by Mrs Mug View Post
          My friend went on a cruise every year for about five years. They took dinner suits and long dresses, for their meals at the captains table. They showed us the photos from the cruises once. There were no nice scenic photos, just lots of posed photos taken with the captain.
          Photos of themselves with the captain, dull as they must undoubtedly have been, were presumably fractionally less boring than three million shots of the same ocean stretching out for miles around.
          'Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation fo the first link on one memorable day'. Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

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            #6
            Never appealed to me either I must confess! Who wants to get dressed up every night on holiday? Surely holidays are about slobbing around in your jeans (well mine are anyway!). Mind you some people would "dress for dinner" on the ferry to France - you certainly see the type on the Hull - Rotterdam/Zeebrugge boat - always amusing!
            Unshackled by the chains of idle vanity, A modest manatee, that's me

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              #7
              mtg is obviously lacking the John Masefield spirit. Me too. I like to look at the sea - I do every day - but prefer to keep off it.

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                #8
                Originally posted by Lawcruncher View Post
                mtg is obviously lacking the John Masefield spirit. Me too. I like to look at the sea - I do every day - but prefer to keep off it.
                Yes, I can 'do' the lonely sea and the sky, I just have no interest in the tall ship or in steering her anywhere. Boats of any kind are definitely overrated, I have found.
                'Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation fo the first link on one memorable day'. Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

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                  #9
                  Plus who's interested in Tom Cruise anyway? Nicole Kidman's not.
                  JEFFREY SHAW, solicitor [and Topic Expert], Nether Edge Law*
                  1. Public advice is believed accurate, but I accept no legal responsibility except to direct-paying private clients.
                  2. Telephone advice: see http://www.landlordzone.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=34638.
                  3. For paid advice about conveyancing/leaseholds/L&T, contact me* and become a private client.
                  4. *- Contact info: click on my name (blue-highlight link).

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Lawcruncher View Post
                    mtg is obviously lacking the John Masefield spirit. Me too. I like to look at the sea - I do every day - but prefer to keep off it.
                    Some preferred his sister Jayne. Now that's what I call an inflatable life jacket...
                    JEFFREY SHAW, solicitor [and Topic Expert], Nether Edge Law*
                    1. Public advice is believed accurate, but I accept no legal responsibility except to direct-paying private clients.
                    2. Telephone advice: see http://www.landlordzone.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=34638.
                    3. For paid advice about conveyancing/leaseholds/L&T, contact me* and become a private client.
                    4. *- Contact info: click on my name (blue-highlight link).

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by jeffrey View Post
                      Some preferred his sister Jayne. Now that's what I call an inflatable life jacket...
                      Our Jayne apparently had a very high IQ, spoke five languages, and was a classically trained pianist and violinist. And yet despite all this the public didn't care about her brains. They were more interested in her 40-21-35 figure. There's no pleasing some people!
                      To know how rich you are, count the things you have which money can't buy.

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                        #12
                        Au contraire: she seemed to have virtues each of which satisfied some people's preferences!
                        See http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en...i=&safe=images
                        JEFFREY SHAW, solicitor [and Topic Expert], Nether Edge Law*
                        1. Public advice is believed accurate, but I accept no legal responsibility except to direct-paying private clients.
                        2. Telephone advice: see http://www.landlordzone.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=34638.
                        3. For paid advice about conveyancing/leaseholds/L&T, contact me* and become a private client.
                        4. *- Contact info: click on my name (blue-highlight link).

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by jeffrey View Post
                          Au contraire: she seemed to have virtues each of which satisfied some people's preferences!
                          See http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en...i=&safe=images
                          Why do these pictures remind me of a particular Benny Hill sketch. It was the one with a bicycle pump.
                          To know how rich you are, count the things you have which money can't buy.

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                            #14
                            Originally posted by mind the gap View Post
                            Mrs Mug's post got me thinking about cruises generally. What I cannot understand is why anyone who is not clinically insane would ever choose to go on one - even pay to do so? They sound like hell on earth - all that lurching around vomiting, compulsory leisure activities and not being able to get away from the same 300 vile people. Like being in Wormwood Scrubs, but with cabin fever thrown in for good measure?

                            I saw a clothing section in Debenhams once called 'Cruisewear'. It made me feel seasick just looking at the Crimplene trousers suits and jaunty sunhats.

                            Can anyone explain how cruise companies stay in business?
                            It seems to happen when you're old and/or Rita Fairclough.

                            Cruisewear is, strictly speaking, a term used for flogging clothes mid-season, between Autumn/Winter and Spring/Summer collections.

                            Apropos nothing I once won a trip to Japan with an Intercity/Sapporo Beer competition with a haiku. I think it went (and this is nearly 20 years ago)

                            Sapporo can stands empty
                            The shinkansen* is full
                            Of travellers' dreams.


                            *the Japanese word for bullet train, which was a part of the prize.

                            What was most notable about the prize, however, was that instead of being a holiday to Japan for two, it was a holiday for one, part chaperoned by some PR woman whom I instantly hated upon encounter at Heathrow. We had a jolly dinner with a few Sapporo executives in Tokyo and a tour around the factory the next day, after which I was left to my own devices.

                            It was lucky that I'd formerly lived in Tokyo for a year, and had friends there, otherwise it would have been a bit of a bummer. And they're lucky it wasn't westminster of today, because I would have sued the PR company.

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                              #15
                              Originally posted by mind the gap View Post
                              Mrs Mug's post got me thinking about cruises generally. What I cannot understand is why anyone who is not clinically insane would ever choose to go on one - even pay to do so? They sound like hell on earth - all that lurching around vomiting, compulsory leisure activities and not being able to get away from the same 300 vile people. Like being in Wormwood Scrubs, but with cabin fever thrown in for good measure?
                              Your opinion on cruises pretty much matches what I used to think about them. However, after considerable cajolement (and we are talking years here) on the part of the missus, I went on a 5-day cruise last year (Spain - Canaries and back) and to be honest it really isn't like that. The ship was completely level all the time - no vomiting, and you'd hardly have known you were on a boat had you... not known you were on a boat. Certainly nothing was compulsory - you could spend the entire 5 days sunning yourself on your balcony using room service 24/7 if you wanted to.

                              My other big fear was being stuck on the same table in the dining room for every meal next to Ken and Sheila from Milton Keynes, with whom we would have exhausted all possible conversation by the end of the main course at dinner on Day 1. However, no, we had our own table for every meal. Also, no need to dress like penguins, though there was a 'no shorts etc' type dress code in most (but not all) restaurants during the evenings.

                              There were several thousand passengers on board so it wasn't easy to bump into people you didn't want to. Activities available were certainly variable, including mountaineering, ice skating, roller-blading, ball games, swimming, golf, cinemas, spas and God knows what else. A bit like being at one of those enormous out-of-town shopping/entertainment complexes really.

                              Anyway, I'm not trying to convert anybody to cruising as I'm still certainly not converted to it myself and definitely have no wish to do it again (and can certainly think of better ways to spend the money). All I'd say is that is it's not anything like as bad as the hell on water which MTG (and you?) had envisaged!

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