Why does sex education fail so often?

[PI Guy]

Her opinion on what? Unfortunately I am not in the habit of bringing my mother to work with me, so i can't ask her"

errr on what we are discussing of course.

[jeffrey]

all the kids without question realised it was hard work and totally unrealistic to have a child at their age.

Maybe so, but that attitude will unfortunately play no part in decisions re informal sexual relationships.

[Izzycam]

I don't know whether any of you saw the programme on BBC2 a while back "The Baby Borrowers"....it was a fascinating insight into the minds of teenagers.
They left all the children to play house in their own apartment, then slowly introduced life changing experiences...first they had to wear a suit which gave the impression and weight of carrying a baby around, then they gave them an imitation baby that cried at the same intervals as a normal baby.
The outcome was remarkable, all the kids without question realised it was hard work and totally unrealistic to have a child at they're age.
Now then I wonder if this kind of senario could be replicated in schools on a smaller scale and in areas where high teenage pregnancies occur.
For example, maybe a day or weekend course where they really can come to terms with the fact that it's not a picnic looking after children.
In some parts of America they have used this fake baby with good results.
I understand it could be cost prohibitive as these dolls are very exensive,but what's the choice...funding courses or paying Housing Allowance and Child benefit and social security for the next 18 years .

[jeffrey]

Her opinion on what? Unfortunately I am not in the habit of bringing my mother to work with me, so i can't ask her

Wait until "Bring your mother to work" Day, then.

[Sorrel]

I would like to know her opinion then.

Her opinion on what? Unfortunately I am not in the habit of bringing my mother to work with me, so i can't ask her"

[PI Guy]

School, my mother was a single parent for most of my up bringing. Not the easiest subject!

I would like to know her opinion then.

[Sorrel]

Sorrell you say you are quite young, lets hear what you think are the most pressing preoccupations of today's youth, if you are the closest in age to them, then your views will probably have more validity than those of us old fogeys.

Sorry I was out having a meaningless unprotected sex with a single mum!

To be honest i grew up that fast, well had to really, I would put myself more in touch with the generation above than my own, apart from the fact that almost every weekend i go out and binge drink!

I think its quite hard to try and judge what the most pressing preoccupations of todays youth is without actually talking to a youth. I would also say, having been travelling round the country recently that there is so many different issues important to youngsters in different parts of the country. I would say speaking to people in the cities i went to, especially Leeds/bradford and London the biggest worry was gangs/gang violence, elsewhere its different.

I think with sex education as long as all the facts are delivered to a child at a sensible age i.e 12/13/14 where they are still quite impressionable and, one would hope, still sensible that is all a school can do. Its then on the parents too make sure they have raised their children in the right manner that they arnt going to go out and have unprotected sex. We cant blames the schools for this imo.

[Sorrel]

Sorrel, may I ask whether you think you learnt more from your family, or from school, on this topic?

School, my mother was a single parent for most of my up bringing. Not the easiest subject!

[jeffrey]

ifferent viewpoint, if I may:
The spread of AIDS/STD could be curtailed- and unmarried pregnancies avoided- by sexual continence. If no-one ever had sexual connection with anyone except exclusively with his/her own spouse, virtually all those problems would gradually vanish (as would adultery, lone parentage by design, the frequent violence engendered by real/imagined unfaithfulness, the generationally-recurring grinding poverty [not just money but also poverty of ideas and ideals], and over-population). Similarly, envy and dissatisfaction are rooted in an unstable society; stability of family life is the best cure for those ills.

It would also stop (or vastly reduce) rape and other sexual offences; porn websites; paedophilia and its associated websites; celibate clergy's child abuse scandals (true or not: see "Doubt", a new film on this); the need for CSA- the list is potential very long.

[Impartial Advice]

I'm a young guy and can totally relate to the 'peer pressure' but luckly have enough self confidence to do the 'right things'. I work with many young single mums- town on east coast half way england up and pretty famous for teenage pregnancy! While Rodents observations on housing do regrettably account, IMHO, for some pregnancies I would also agree that lack of education/common sense accounts for far more. I work closely with many health professionals and often see that lack of self confidence and a poor level of education coupled with a lack of ambition leads to most of the teenage pregnancies.

I would say that the pregnancies are a result of a social mindset where there is often no ambition to get out of the 'Income Support cycle' and following their parents/elders example of shortsightedly 'living for the moment' in every aspect of life (including financial and we know whats happening there) and the pregnancies stem from this. I would say that pregnancy is a by product of this rather than the reason for it.

It's hard to explain in words... not my strong point!

By the way I was brought up VERY strictly and the 's' word was never mentioned other than it shouildn't be done. I while i do have a far more liberal view (and can honestly say it was probably OTT) but it hasn't done me any harm and think that the previous generation has a lot to answer for with the 'problems' with many of 'this' generation.

My sex education at school was pretty useless and left more confused that I entered but the only thing I can really remember was one of the oldest male teachers stating that 'the CSA is the scariest STD' at the end!!

[mind the gap]

My, my, you lot have had a busy time discussing sexual activity- "something for the weekend", indeed.

Different viewpoint, if I may:
The spread of AIDS/STD could be curtailed- and unmarried pregnancies avoided- by sexual continence. If no-one ever had sexual connection with anyone except exclusively with his/her own spouse, virtually all those problems would gradually vanish (as would adultery, lone parentage by design, the frequent violence engendered by real/imagined unfaithfulness, the generationally-recurring grinding poverty [not just money but also poverty of ideas and ideals], and over-population). Similarly, envy and dissatisfaction are rooted in an unstable society; stability of family life is the best cure for those ills.

No- I cannot guess how to bring that happy state about.

I don't think anyone would disagree with your conclusion, Jeffrey. The trouble is, it presupposes a society which is much more reflective, more caring, less selfish and materialistic than our present one.

agent 46 commented once (on the thread about Shannon Matthews) that he thought there was a growing tide of selfishness in this country, and I think I agree. I wonder whether the pendulum will swing back again?

Or is it just nostalgic to think 'traditional family life', where divorce was rare, was ever ideal? Some would argue it just trapped women and children - and I suppose, some men - in violent and unhappy relationships.

Some of the children I teach seem to thrive in their 'new' families (parent + step parent + children from previous relationships of either/both). Some get very confused and spend half their lives not knowing where their schoolbag is because (for whatever reason) they go backwards and forwards from one home to another in a state of total disorganisation. They are the ones I feel most sorry for as their chances of succeeding in school are hugely reduced by it.

[jeffrey]

My, my, you lot have had a busy time discussing sexual activity- "something for the weekend", indeed.

Different viewpoint, if I may:
The spread of AIDS/STD could be curtailed- and unmarried pregnancies avoided- by sexual continence. If no-one ever had sexual connection with anyone except exclusively with his/her own spouse, virtually all those problems would gradually vanish (as would adultery, lone parentage by design, the frequent violence engendered by real/imagined unfaithfulness, the generationally-recurring grinding poverty [not just money but also poverty of ideas and ideals], and over-population). Similarly, envy and dissatisfaction are rooted in an unstable society; stability of family life is the best cure for those ills.

No- I cannot guess how to bring that happy state about.

[mind the gap]

Sorrell you say you are quite young, lets hear what you think are the most pressing preoccupations of today's youth, if you are the closest in age to them, then your views will probably have more validity than those of us old fogeys.

He's young and carefree. He's out having a good time!

[jta]

Sorrell you say you are quite young, lets hear what you think are the most pressing preoccupations of today's youth, if you are the closest in age to them, then your views will probably have more validity than those of us old fogeys.

[mind the gap]

Hmm okay let's do it with a big "C" instead shall we ?!

The Rodent

It's up to you. You wrote it. The punctuation makes a difference to its meaning, that's all.