Lodger Terrorised Live In Landlord

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    Lodger Terrorised Live In Landlord

    Good Evening,

    My apologies in advance if my English is very bad, I'll try my best, you see British Sign Language is my first language.

    Anyway, I am having a difficult time with my lodger who only moved in 2 weeks ago. I have 2 adorable British Shorthair cats, they are my world and they have never been out unless in their enclosure in the garden.

    I told her few rules relating to them, like giving her instructions to ensure they are safe when opening front door, the windows and etc. She agreed to be extra careful, which is great as the cats are my number one priority.

    I thought I've got the perfect lodger....... until she screamed at my face when I simply asked her to alert me via text messaging when she plan to bring in friends for overnight stay, or a boyfriend turning up. I don't have problems with them, within reason though. It is because of my deafness, I need to be aware of who is in the flat as I barely know the lodger nor her friends. I only request it only for a couple of weeks till I get to know my lodger first. She verbally attacked me, then said, we can see how things go but she wont stick to my rules…. and then stormed off completely ignoring me! I was gobsmacked and stood there like a lemon!

    And since that event, all I got was her spewing abuse at me to my face - I told her not to do this cos I cant hear her to understand her, I am not the world best lip reader! I also got lots of harassment texts, her mum even sent me a attacking text message. I saw lots of manipulative behaviours too, and lots of hints of violence brewing.

    A lot more has happened since , to cut the story short, I've called the police on her twice both for increasing violent on me, one for hurting my foot, there is a little cut on it when she force the door to get her way into my room, and the second time she forcibly burst the door open. Both times has caused crashing noise, I felt the earth shattering vibration and the cats jumped out of their skin!

    There is not really much damage to the door, police said it is just our words. But the nice police officer even tried to fit the door. And that nice officer also saw how upset I was about the security of my cats. So to calm me down he has shown me pictures of his 2 cats, Burmese! Adorable! (That was while the other officer was in other room talking to my lodger)

    And he advise me to put a lock in my door to protected my cats, and I have done just that, purely for that reason.

    I'm in torment and in fear of her as she is so unpredictable. Lots of times she is games playing and I am little too old for this kind of stuff.

    She is now saying she doesn't care about my cats and that they are not her problem if they runs out :S They are now locked in my room at all times, so I'm pissed off that she is blocking their freedom to roam freely in the flat, their home!

    Okay my view is that if she didn't agree with my simple rules, she could pack up and go as I would have paid her back the money. Money is a dangerous game and I prefer to have the peace of mind.

    The thing is now she is saying she is leaving and gave me an official notice to quit (Expect to leave today - 30/12/2016) via text but she is now saying she is staying on and is still here. I hardly seen her, never mind speaking to her like an adult. she kept disappearing and one time has left the door open at midnight….lucky I woke to go to the toilet and I dread to think what would have happened. It wont be seen as a burglary because they were invited in!!! :-S

    I have read lots of post here, fantastic advices for both sides and i know you will say I can pack her bags, changes the locks and etc. BUT I worry that if I do that then the police will break my door if I pack up her stuff and leave it in the hallway.

    I'm the live in landlord and there is no contract, nor any agreement.

    Please advise and thank you for your time in advance

    If she gave written notice that she was leaving today, change the locks the next time she leaves after midnight.
    If she becomes violent or abusive, call the police - do not let her into the property unaccompanied by a police officer.

    If she wants her possessions, offer to hand them to her in bin liners through a window.

    The police may not be sympathetic, but are not in any position to make you give someone else a key to your property (and if they suggest that, simply decline).

    If you have any large male friends or relatives get them to visit while you get rid of this terrible person.
    When I post, I am expressing an opinion - feel free to disagree, I have been wrong before.
    Please don't act on my suggestions without checking with a grown-up (ideally some kind of expert).


      Agree fully with jp.

      You might also want to invest in a cheap cctv camera that does continuous recording during this difficult time. It is your home -- call the police if under threat.


        Exactly what everyone else said.

        Call the police and change the locks. Don't give her any access to your home.

        If you do need a lodger maybe ask an agency for help in finding someone more suitable. You can't feel vulnerable in your own home.


          Call the police and make them aware that a lodger is being asked to leave who may turn violent, tell the police that you require a police officer to be present to 'prevent a breach of the peace' - They are legally required to attend, in general they will make a note of this and inform the forthcoming shifts AND make you a priorty case.

          I hope you have some male friends who can be with you when she is asked to leave.

          Personally, Id have waited till she left the house, bag her gear change the locks THEN text her what you have done and you dont want her back.

          Are all your valuable items (rings etc) safe, it might be a good idea to pawn any gold or silver items - keeps them safe for 6 months, just case, they might attempt a burgalary.


            Thank you so much jpkeates, AndrewDod, wright76 and Essex boy for your advice, its very helpful and you have reassured me, I was so deflated by the whole situation.

            I have forgotten to mention that I checked my special landlord bank account yesterday and noticed that she hasn't paid her rent.

            Let me explain what happened, on 25th October she viewed the flat and love it but wasn't ready to move in yet but she has asked me to stop other viewings and keep room for her. She said she will pay to hold the room like some sort of holding rent or something, is there a word for this?

            She only paid in 66% of the rent on 27th October and I assumed she will pay it in full once she move in, and she finally moved in on the 11th December, I was expecting the remaining 33% for the holding rent, the full deposit and the full rent in advance. But I only got the deposit and the remaining 33% but not the full rent in advance.

            She has been harassing me to give her the money back in the last few days, plus the remaining rent cos she is leaving early. I was bombard with those demanding texts. She knew very well that I always honour the deposit and always make sure they get it back if all is well. I was suspicious cos I couldn’t understand the demand, even from her mum.

            Now I know that she has realised that I have never notice the shortfall in my account and was hoping to take the money and run! I am thankful that I 'listened' to my gut and checked my account!

            What do you reckon about this holding rent and her not paying the full rent in advance?

            She is here, and myself and my cats are locked in my room feeling terrifying, I am real scared to use my home even to go to the toilet or make a cuppa. My cat hasn’t be fed this evening although there is their usual dry food and water in the room. She practically taking over my home, and I can see through the keyhole (my room is right next to the kitchen) and there are people there, I specific told her to let me know first!

            Seeing as new year eve is approaching and, Ill ask my friends to help me after the celebration ( I love my friends so much and I font want to burden them with my problem on new years eve!) so for now I will bite my tongue and hang on until she has left the flat and change the locks. If I remember correctly she did say she will be in the flat on new years eve. So it means me and my cats will be in our 'prison'

            I know its sounding so awful but this is the only way for now.

            FYI I have had lodgers for over 30 years and they are all still my friends and this is my first very bad apple!


              Regardless of what she has paid (which I'm confused with!) you cannot live like a prisoner in your own home and she needs to realise she has no right to treat you as she is.

              I dread to think how much worse it would be if you could hear her too.

              What did you agree as a holding deposit? I'm sure it wouldn't be a full months rent but your last post implies that it was? How much was her deposit?.

              If she has paid the equivalent of two months rent and only moved in on 11th Dec I can see why she is asking for a refund but it depends what was agreed as a holding deposit.


                And I personally wouldn't give her anything back because of the trauma she has caused you anyway


                  Agree with that.

                  If the lodger thinks what you've done is wrong, they can try and take you to court.
                  But start off by not returning anything.

                  But the main priority is getting rid of this person.
                  When I post, I am expressing an opinion - feel free to disagree, I have been wrong before.
                  Please don't act on my suggestions without checking with a grown-up (ideally some kind of expert).


                    The last 24 hours has been traumatised for me by her constant bullying and terrorising.

                    About an hour ago she has left for her NYE thing and I have just changed the locks, left a notice to quit for her on the front door and my window!!

                    I hope I have done the right thing.......and I have just been violently sick :-(

                    I am dreading what she will do when she returned tonight, she is capable of anything!

                    Should I call the police to give them a head up?

                    Happy New Year To You All!



                      Yes, most definitely ring the police and make them aware you have evicted her.

                      They will have record of their previous visit and will know that you are vulnerable.

                      Just remember you have done nothing wrong and stay strong. No doubt she will threaten scream and argue but keep record of everything.

                      When she realises it's over and there's nothing she can do I'm sure she will leave you alone.

                      Good luck and all the best for 2017 X


                        Good Morning!

                        I love this forum because these people here know how to make you feel better, and I have come on here again to release the pain from what I've endured from my earth shattering NYE!

                        Wright76, - Thank you for your advice, I've called 999 last night to inform them of my actions, one of which was that I have evicted my excluded occupier - the reason I've used this terminology is because the police do not really know what it is, and this will get them to start to do some homework :-) Including leaving notice to quit left on my main communal door and one taped from the inside of my ground floor front window (She wont be able to say that she never recieved this)

                        Once I've hung up on the call, I was relieved that I've used this approach to get things sorted appropriately.

                        But then suddenly I started to hyperventilate!!! OMG!

                        Now recovered, but I cannot believe I went into total shock, then it hit on me that what has happened was quite brutal to say the least.

                        Today is the first day of the new year and my life has just begin and I am going to enjoy today!

                        Thank you guys for just being there for me.

                        Happy New Year To You All


                        I'm afraid you won't be seeing the last of me, Ill be back for some advise once she sue me :-)


                          New day, New Year Good Luck but it sounds like having a lodger is not conducive with your panic attacks.



                            I really hope you are now able to get some peace of mind.

                            From what I have read so far - the important thing here is that this lodger does not have "SECURITY OF TENURE".
                            The lodger is in your porperty with your permission. The important point of this is that you won't be committing an
                            offence by removing the lodger from your property.

                            If you do have any more trouble I think you need to be clear to the police of the following :
                            1. The lodger does not have security of tenure.
                            2. The lodger does not have permission to be in your property and is effectively tresspassing.
                            3. There is a history of threats of violence from the lodger.

                            If the police refuse to act - make it clear to them that should there be an incident then you will hold them accountable.
                            Keep records. The police do a difficult job, but it can be tempting to tell someone that they need to seek a civil remedy.
                            If you make it clear to them that there are repercussions to them (not just you) if they make the wrong decision then
                            they are much more likely to intervene in a way that suits you.

                            Good luck.


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