Moral dilemma with asking a lodger to leave at the moment

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  • Self sufficient
    replied
    Lockdown is almost over and everyone is / have to return to their workplace means the house will once again back to same previous routine. An honest companion/neighbour is a great asset so in my view you shouldn't loose your source of revenue rather adopt another alternative by start using your own garden/nearest public park that you will find incredibly amusing & congenial to work.

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  • Hudson01
    replied
    Two unrelated people living in a 'rabbit hutch' with pressure building//lifestyle clashes is a receipt for mental health disaster, as said you do sound a decent chap and are trying to do the right thing, the truth is there is no right thing which will suit the both of you, one of you has to be disappointed and given it is your property and your well being...........he has to go, sit down and tell him what you said in your post, but be clear that he has to start looking for somewhere else to live, then come to an agreement on timescale.

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  • royw
    replied
    I would just be honest and tell him what you've told us, I'm sure he'll understand. I wouldn't put a date on him leaving though, you can do that later if he doesn't go. It may be difficult for him to find somewhere at the moment so as long as he's genuinely looking I'd be patient.

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  • DPT57
    replied
    Given that your title identified this as a moral dilemma, I would say that morally its unreasonable to make someone homeless during a pandemic because you cant watch TV. I think you've both failed to establish lockdown rules, which are essential. I would suggest he works at the table until 5:00 or 5:30 or whenever you normally finish, then he works in his room or your room at your desk. You might have to put some of your things away, but this seems like a minor inconvenience.

    Take a look at all the posts on this forum about nightmare lodgers and you will get an idea of how difficult it is to find good ones. You should try to keep him at all costs.

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  • scot22
    replied
    I agree with others who have complimented your integrity and consideration. As has been said, talk about it as a shared problem, looking to find a solution.

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  • GrumpyGit
    replied
    I used to live in minuscule accommodation in London, I found that my accommodation suddenly became a lot more tolerable when I invested in folding furniture - a Murphy bed and a desk that would fold against the wall when not in use.

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  • Lizbeth
    replied
    Just a thought, but if his moving out is impossible, what about swapping bedrooms with him? If yours is larger, that means he could work from in there, plus watch his own telly/laptop etc etc, and give you more free run of your lounge? If all you do in your bedroom is sleep, doesn't matter if it's tiny! The bedroom swap could be on the basis that he gets a bigger bedroom, but does NOT work in your lounge then.

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  • Lizbeth
    replied
    You sound like a decent person, and I can see the dilemma. My son was in a similar set up to your lodger last year, and I can see that if he, and the other lodger, and the owner, had to be all together all day etc, it would have been impossible. The place just wasn't big enough for all three, all day.

    Why not start the conversation not with a 'hey, can you move out please!' but with a 'can we (note WE) make this lockdown work, because we are BOTH under stress here.'

    Then, something like 'would more space for you - ie, bigger bedroom that you can use as office/lounge be better for you?'

    Definitely start looking around yourself now to see what other accommodation might be avaialbable. Things maybe easing up now on that front as lockdown eases??

    If he's trying to minimise his negative impact on your space, it shows he is 'decent' like you, so that has to be good.

    If he agrees, and finds somewhere (maybe with your help), it might be sensible for you both to 'shield' for a week, not going out at all (other than your garden) in order for him to be Covid-free when he moves into the next place??

    As for his 'stuff', I believe after three days everything has become 'sterile'.

    PS - is he likely to be able to get back to work anytime 'soon'? That could be another way of opening the conversation (I suggest a couple of beers too, to make it less draconian!). Do emphasise the 'we' aspect, as it is obviously a problem for both of you, the lack of space.

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  • jpkeates
    replied
    Are there other places available locally?

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  • Moral dilemma with asking a lodger to leave at the moment

    Hi, I was after some advice about asking my lodger to leave at the moment, considering the current COVID situation. I own a small 2 bed flat in London and for the last year have rented my spare room to a lodger. He is very tidy, considerate and pays the rent on time. We are both busy professionals and before the lockdown didn’t cross paths often as we were out the house most of the time.

    Due to the virus, both our jobs are now home based and we are both trying to work at home from such a small space. His room is a box room, so he works in the kitchen / lounge on the table and I work on a small pop up desk in my room. He works long hours on the dining table and I feel stuck in my small bedroom all day whilst he is working. I would ideally like to be watching TV or reading in the lounge. I have mentioned this to him, and he tries to go to his room for calls now, but ultimately the space is to small for two people to share 24/7.

    The current situation isn’t working, especially as I have little work to be doing. We are on top of each other and I try and stay out the house as long as possible to get some time to myself. Now I will be home based, I would like to use his room as a home office. I also don’t think it will now suit me having a lodger with this new way of living, less going into the office, less socialising etc.

    I just feel really bad asking him to leave at the moment, considering it might be harder to get another room with social distancing viewings. Do people think I can ask him to leave? I am willing to give him more than his one month notice on the lodger agreement. I feel it is impacting on my mental health and wellbeing living in this way and as if I am living a student life. I also appreciate he hasn’t done anything wrong, and I don’t want to put him under unnecessary stress. Any thoughts or similar situations would be much appreciated, thanks.

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